kalypso stare information talk excesses nothing

All lyrics written or co-written by Stewart Copeland...because "the other ones are complete bullshit!"
Songs as "Klark Kent" Songs recorded with Curved Air



Songs recorded with Oysterhead 		Songs recorded with The Police





Away From Home 

I finally got away from home
I got an apartment of my own
Eccentric posing is allowed
And I can play the music loud
I'm gonna abuse my brand new pad
My lousy manners are O.K.
I finally got away from home
I got an apartment of my own
I entertain my rancid date
And she can hang around 'til late
Oh boy!

Away from home
O-Oh
I got a place of my own
O-Oh
Away from home
O-Oh
I got a place of my own
O-Oh

And I don't have to hide the fumes
So I don't have to clean my room
And I don't have to hide my toys
Won't hide my dealings Oh Boy
I finally got away from home
I got apartment of my own
Not sure exactly 'bout the rent
My weekly pay won't even dent
Won't hide my dealings Oh boy  Oh Boy!

Don't Care 


I am the hottest thing you ever will see
You know I'm something it ain't easy to be
I am the neatest thing that ever hit town
There isn't anything the could bring me down

Don't care
If you really wanna hang around
Don't care
'Cause I am the neatest thing in town
Don't care
If you really wanna stick around
I don't care
If you even wanna put me down

The girls are always trying to settle me down
They never guess I'm only fooling around
My only worry is my humility
It dampens all my heavy artillery

Don't care
If you really wanna hang around
Don't care
'Cause I am the neatest thing in town
Don't care
If you really wanna stick around
I don't care
If you even wanna put me down

Don't care No-no
Don't care No-no
Don't care No-no
Don't care No-no

You know I'm fooling with my fake ID
So you don't need to check my history
You know I'm something it ain't easy to be
There isn't anyone who I'd rather be

Don't care
If you really wanna hang around
Don't care
'Cause I am the neatest thing in town
Don't care
If you really wanna stick around
I don't care
If you even wanna put me down

Don't care No-no
'Cause I am the neatest thing in town
Don't care if you really wanna stick around
I don't care if you even wanna put me down

Excesses 


I've cracked enough jokes
And I've smoked enough smokes
Now I'm feeling for the ropes
I hope no one took notes

My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home
My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home

I try not to notice that I've spilt my drink
As I slide towards the door
I start to think

My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home
My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home

I was lecturing the kitchen
'Til the icebox got bored
And where's that girl gone
I was sure I'd scored

My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home
My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home
I was sure I'd scored
My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home
My excesses are getting the better of me
I'm ready to go home

Love Lessons 


There was an ambush in the park
Left me standing
Took my heart
A sudden look and a feeling of surprise
The girl I knew had changed before my eyes
So I'm

workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to touch her
workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to hold her

She'll want some guy who's grown up and cool
They never taught me 'bout that in school
I had to touch her so I threw her in the pool
Now everybody knows that I'm her fool
So I'm

workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to touch her
workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to hold her
hold her...
hold her...
hold her...

Is there a message in friendship mats?
I gotta learn about romance
I know so much but girls are hard to understand
So I'm

workin' on...workin' on...workin' on...
workin' on...workin' on...workin' on...
workin' on...workin' on...workin' on...
workin' on...workin' on...workin' on...

workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to touch her
workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to hold her
hold her...
hold her...
hold her...

workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to hold her
workin' on
learn about love
workin' on
learn how to hold her

My Old School 


When I was young I was a fool
I was somebody else's tool
I was at the mercy of my so-called friends
You never saw a joke like me
I was as dumb as I could be

If I could go back to my school
I'd show 'em how I broke the rules
I'd show 'em all my wordly cool

One day I fell out of the pack
I felt like Yasser Arafat
It was a close shave but I skipped that trap
And now I've done some growing up
I ain't the same old buttercup

If I could go back to my school
I'd show 'em all my worldly cool

I never dared to take a chance
I never asked a girl to dance
And all my dreams were out of reach
And when the girls came out to play
I never had a thing to say
And all my dreams were out of reach
I never thought to disobey
Not like I always do today

If I could go back to my school
I'd show 'em all my worldly cool

Office Girls 


Office work today
And I can see my yearly pay
And I won't have much to say
So I'll get on top some way

Talk show world
With office girls
Coffee break
And I'll make me a date

Adjusting my career
It picks up every year
I'll get on top some day
If I can only find a way

Talk show world
With office girls
Coffee break
And I'll make me a date

I'm gonna marry me a mouse
And then I'm gonna buy a house
Downpayment on a brand new car
You can see I'm goin' far

Office work today
And I can see my yearly pay
And I won't have much to say
So I'll get on top some way

Talk show world
With office girls
Coffee break
And I'll make me a date

Rich in a Ditch 


I have to fake it when I deal with the system
My bills are on time but my pay always late
I work for myself I won't work for no one else
If I worked in a ditch I'd be rich
I would not make it
If I couldn't fake it
It ain't no treason
Just to look for freedom
I want some money of my own
I gotta bring my work home
In a bus on the street
On the beat in the heat
I gotta fake with the law
I gotta look like a pawn
So I cook up a nook and look great
As a straight
I would not make it
If I couldn't fake it
It ain't no treason
Just to look for freedom
I wanna be rich
I don't wanna work in a ditch
I wanna be rich
I don't wanna work in a ditch

Stay Ready 


My radio is tuned to an alien station
My fingers are tapping to an alien tune
I wonder what kicks you can get on this moon
Stay ready to cut and run

Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready to fly away
Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready stick to attention

I wonder what kind of birds are in the sky
Stay ready to fly away
Wierd life forms drinkin' cups of tea
There's some strange stuff they're gonna show me

Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready stick to attention
Stay
Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready to fly away

Your planet on my screen (Ooooo...)
Whole new place

I never seen it before (Ooooo...)
Strange city down below
1,000 feet to zero (Ooooo...)
Stick to attention

Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready to fly away
Stay ready to cut and run
Stay ready to fly away
Go!

I shoulda been a cowboy
Uhhh Ohhh

Strange Things Happen 


Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone
Doesn't matter where you come from
Doesn't matter where you wanna go
Doesn't matter if you're on your way home
Doesn't matter who you know
Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone

Back home you gotta solid life
That life don't mean a thing out here
Back home you gotta loving wife
She can't hear you calling out here

Strange things happen
Strange things happen
Strange things happen that you never heard about at home

Doesn't matter where you come from
Doesn't matter where you wanna go
Doesn't matter if you're on your way home
Doesn't matter who you know
Strange things happen to a man on the road
Strange things happen to a man who's alone

Strange things happen
Strange things happen
Strange things happen that they never told about at home

Thrills 


Head out of the house, go for a place
The unicorn has gone without a trace
I bump into my friend
Leroy

Laugh about his girl
I feel great
Stay out late
I can't wait

My fingers snappin' back for a thrill
I know where to go, and go I will
No trouble at the door
Easy
Chase out on the floor

I feel great
Stay out late
I can't wait

I been chasin' fun out on the town
Guessin' where you've been hangin' 'round
I can't get the feel
Of her
Everything is real

Okay, it's a fadeout.

Too Kool To Kalypso 


I didn't drink and I never danced
I couldn't take no club romance
But this floozy had no shame
Libedo torpedo

I was 
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too weird to watusi
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango

What she did was hard to believe
Libedo torpedo
But by morning I couldn't leave
Libedo torpedo
Picking her up was like falling down the stairs
With her on top of me I couldn't put on any airs

I was 
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too weird to watusi
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango

At my heart she took careful aim
Libedo torpedo
And you know,that floozy had no shame
Libedo torpedo

I was  
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too weird to watusi
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso

too tough to tango
too weird to watusi
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too weird to watusi
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango
too cool to calypso
too tough to tango

Desiree lyrics by Stewart Copeland and Sonja Kristina


Desiree
In the shadow of the dawn he's turnin' to you
Your restless eyes haunted by the feeling of the night
He turns around to touch you but he knows
You've gone

You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry
You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry

Desiree
You first met your love in southern Italy
The Mediterranean winds have blown your love away
You're flyin' off to summer but you know
He's gone

You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry
You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry

Desiree
On sunset cliffs you watched the end of yesterday
The Californian dream has swept your love away
You're tryin' to remember but you know
He's gone

You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry
You've been travelin' Desiree
Since you were grown enough not to cry

Desiree
Desiree
Desiree

Bombs Away 


The general scratches his belly and thinks
His pay is good but his officers stink
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

The President looks in the mirror and speaks
His shirts are clean but his country reeks
Unpaid bills
In Afghanistan hills

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay

The general only wants to teach France to dance
His army life doesn't give him any romance
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

The general scratches his belly and thinks
His pay is good but his company stinks
Guerilla girl, hard and sweet
A military man would love to meet

Bombs away
But we're O.K.
Bombs away
In old Bombay

Contact 


I've got a lump in my throat about the note you wrote
I'd come on over but I haven't got a raincoat

Have we got contact
You and me?
Have we got touchdown
Can't we be?

I've got contacts in my book and in my eyes
My good connection on the telephone never lies

Have we got contact
You and me?
Have we got touchdown
Can't we be?

I've got a list of the people I have known
I'm never alone on the end of a phone

Have we got contact
You and me?
Have we got touchdown
Can't we be?

I've got a lump in my throat about the note you wrote
I'd come on over but I haven't got a raincoat
I'd come on over but I haven't got a raincoat

Darkness 


I can dream up schemes when I'm sitting in my seat
I don't see any flaws till I get to my feet
I wish I never woke up this morning
Life was easy when it was boring

I could make a mark if it weren't so dark
I could be replaced by any bright spark
But darkness makes me fumble
For a key
To a door
That's wide open

Instead of worrying about my clothes
I could be someone that nobody knows
I wish I never woke up this morning
Life was easy when it was boring

I can dream up schemes when I'm sitting in my seat
I don't see any flaws till I get to my feet
I wish I never woke up this morning
Life was easy when it was boring

Does Everyone Stare 


I change my clothes ten times before I take you on a date
I'm in a cold sweat, I panic, and it makes me late
I knew you never asked for this
I know
My shots will always misfire
My shots will always miss

Does everyone stare this way at you?
I only look this way at you

I change my clothes ten times before I take you on a date
I get the heebie-jeebies, and my panic makes me late
I break into a cold sweat reaching for the phone
I let it ring twice before I chicken out and decide you're not at home

Does everyone stare the way I do?
I only stare this way at you

I never noticed the size of my feet
Until I kicked you in the shins
Will you ever forgive me
For the shape I'm in
For the shape I'm in

Does everyone stare the way I do?
I only stare this way at you

I'm gonna write you a sonnet but I don't know where to start
I'm so used to laughing at the things in my heart
Last of all I'm sorry 'cos you never asked for this
I can see I'm not your type and my shot will always miss

Does everyone stare the way I do?
I only stare this way at you

Does everyone stare the way I do?
I only stare this way at you

Does everyone stare the way I do?
I only stare this way at you

Fall Out 


I never thought of leading
I've got my own machine
And I've paid my dues all along
All set for breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was really alone

Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and gangs
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and gangs

I saw my education
It was my indoctrination
Just to be another parking machine
All my sense was breaking
When I missed those other people
'Cause I knew that I was not very clean

Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and gangs
Fall out
Fall out with all the leaders and gangs

Fall out!

Landlord lyrics by Sting & Stewart Copeland 


I don't want to rent a house from you
I don't know how you can expect me to
I ain't moving 'cause I know my rights
Too many homeless on the streets at night

You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality, what do you care
You deal in poverty, you buy despair

I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some

You go and call yourself a business man
You're just a parasite on Pyllosan
You're just a middle class middle aged shit
You sold your granny for a three-penny bit

You own a street and a block of flats
You earn your living like the other rats
You've no morality, what do you care
You deal in poverty, you buy despair

I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some
I ain't moving 'till the bailiff comes
I've got no weapons, gonna get me some

Miss Gradenko 


Don't tell the director I said so
But are you safe Miss Gradenko?
We were at a policy meeting
They were planning new ways of cheating
I didn't want to rock your boat    
But you sent this dangerous note
You've been letting your feelings show

Are you safe Miss Gradenko?
Miss Gradenko are you safe?
Are you safe Miss Gradenko?
Miss Gradenko are you safe?

Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody alive in here?
Nobody but us
Nobody but us
Is anybody alive in here?
Nobody but us

Your uniform doesn't seem to fit
You're much too alive in it
You've been letting your feelings show

Are you safe Miss Gradenko?
Miss Gradenko are you safe?

Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody alive in here?
Is anybody alive in here?
Nobody but us in here
Nobody but us

Nobody but us in here
Nobody but us

Nothing Achieving lyrics by Ian and Stewart Copeland 


My daddy's boots don't fit me
'Cause I'm bigger than him
He says I make him big now
I'm bigger than him

You see there's nothing worth achieving
All your dreams are just deceiving

You've locked the doors on your good living
And you told me to wait
You've got me backed into a corner
You're making me hate

I say there's nothing worth achieving
All your dreams are just deceiving

[They say there's nothing worth achieving
 All your dreams are just deceiving]

Throwing stones that are reeling
From a reasonable light
You muscle in when I have a party
Ready to fight

I say there's nothing worth achieving
All your dreams are just deceiving

Nothing
Nothing
Nothing

On Any Other Day 


There's a house on my street
And it looks real neat
I'm the chap who lives in it

There's a tree on the sidewalk
There's a car by the door
I'll go for a drive in it

And when the wombat comes
He will find me gone
He'll look for a place to sit

My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay

Cut off my fingers in the
Door of my car
How could I do it?

My wife is proud to tell me
Of her love affairs
How could she do this to me?

My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay

And it would be O.K. on any other day
And it would be O.K. on any other day

Throw down the morning papers
And spill my tea
I don't know what's wrong with me

The cups and plates are in a
Conspiracy
I'm covered in misery

My wife has burned the scrambled eggs
The dog just bit my leg
My teenage daughter ran away
My fine young son has turned out gay

And it would be O.K. on any other day
And it would be O.K. on any other day

Wield The Spade lyrics by Copeland and MacDonald 


Barber 
Get this mirror cleaned
I'm troubled by the face I see before me
As we shave our nations face 
Keep a steady hand
Listen to these words that soon will ring across the land

Wield the Spade
Ready the blade
Sacrifices must be made

There are many fools who dare propose imposing limits on my power
Those ungrateful who've been swayed by intellectuals in their ivory towers
They will pay for crimes that God and I will not allow
Some before the firing squad and some behind the plough

Wield the spade

Barber
Get this mirror cleaned 
I'm troubled by the face I see before me
Be careful not to miss a whisker
Soon I face my people who adore me
As you shave our nations face
Keep a steady hand
Listen to these words that soon will ring across the land

Wield the spade
Ready the blade
Sacrifices must be made

Barber
You've done very well
Much cleaner now
The mirror's telling no lies

I know I'm not imagining the telltale glint of death I see in your eyes
I can't trust you
So I must do something with my knife
It's a shame to lose a damn good barber
But that's life

Wield the spade
Ready the blade
Sacrifices must be made

Have we got contact, you and me?

kalypso stare information talk excesses nothing